It has now been a week since Grandma came to live here.
I feel like so much has happened this last week -- and now I am finally getting into a "groove" and schedule with things.
Last week on the 2nd or 3rd day of her here... I almost had a meltdown.
Things were bad one morning.. and I was alone to care for some needs that needed a second or third person to help. I tried moving Grandma myself into her wheelchair so I could change her bed.. and she ended up sliding to the ground. I sat down next to her -- so tired.. and wondering what in the world I had gotten myself into. We both talked for a minute.. laughed at the situation we were in.. and then I knew I was going to have to call someone for some help.
I called Chad's aunt Kaye. She lives down the street.
She took care of her husband for over 30+ years in bed.. and I knew she could help me.
She came right over and helped me get her back into bed.
She then comforted me.. but I still felt unsettled and shaky.
She left... and Cathy and her kids came over to bring me something from the store that I needed for Grandma.
While Cathy and the kids were here... a social worker from hospice called and wanted to come over within the next 10 minutes.
When Dad's social worker came... we didn't really use him.. but right then.. I was so unsettled..I NEEDED this lady today.
I felt like I would emotionally throw up all over her.
But.. I didn't.
I just sat there... anxious and shaky. I needed help.. and support and didn't know how to ask for it.
Or.. where to even start.
Cathy came to the rescue.
She told her that she was worried about me. She explained my situation.. and the concerns I had for the out of county Nurse. I was amazed at Cathy's assertiveness.
The lady now knew what even I wasn't sure I was aware of.
I felt as though I had zero support.
The social worker -- wasn't surprised. She could see that I was on the verge of a meltdown.
I told her that the hospice nurse wasn't helping me as much as I thought... her personality was a little strange.. and she lived in another county. I needed someone closer.. that I felt would work with me.. and assess my needs more. Someone that wouldn't make me feel like I was "burdening" her with questions.
The social worker did her job immediately.
Within one hour.. I had a new Nurse ( that is close ) and was given an aid every morning Mon-Sat to help me get Grandma changed and out of her bed ( so I could change the sheets ) after being in bed all night.
I can't even tell you how much calmer I felt.
Everything changed.
I am so grateful Cathy was there... and I am grateful the Social worker called when she did.
Such a blessing.
Since then-- working with the new Hospice Nurse has been wonderful.
PS: Her looks remind me of Penny from Big Bang Theory. -- Not that it matters what she looks like -- but I just wanted to note that. haha
She sat down we me.. we went through everything.. and I feel like I am actually in control now.
We all work together well. I love her.. the aids.. and of course.. the social worker.
Things have been going smoothly.. and Grandma is always more than Thankful and Gracious.
She has never been cross.. mean or rude in anyway with me.
She tells me how much she loves me all throughout the day... always thanks me for what I do for her.. and praises my little children.
She LOVES to be around the kids. She LOVES me to tell her all about my day and what things I am going to do -- and need to be done.. and then she asks me what she can do.
I tell her ( jokingly ) that she can do the ironing.. ( since I loathe it ) and she feels happy thinking that she is helping me -- even though it's all talk.
One night.. I was extremely tired.. and I sat on her bed -- just chatting for a minute.
It seemed comforting. -- Kind of what I have missed with my Father. -- Having a heart to heart with someone listening.
Really listening with no where to go.
She asked me if I was tired. ( so I MUST have looked hammered ) and I said:
"Yes."
And then.. my adorable bed-ridden Grandma said: " Why don't you go and get yourself in bed.. and I will do ALL of your work for you. - Every bit of it.. so you can rest."
I was teary. I could FEEL that she would do it.. if she could have.
That's how she had always been. Quietly serving others... and always very willing.
I sometimes wonder who and what has stepped into my body -- when I see how patient I am with her, and the care I am giving her.
With all of the extreme times of Dementia... I feel like I know the perfect thing to do or say with her.
I comply with things.. rather than make her feel confused or upset.
We believe that her Mother is with us--very close by... and we are just physically doing the work for her... but all I know.. is this work is very sacred.
No matter how bad she is at the moment with Dementia.. I can bring her back by reading her story to her. She adores that book so much. I am grateful her and my Grandfather took the time to write their stories many years ago.
I truly feel a love for my favorite movie " The Notebook" even more than I ever have before.. as I witness the emotion and tears as I read to her about her life as a young child.
I think she isn't listening.. and then all of the sudden.. she starts talking about those days of long ago.
She will chime in and sing songs she learned as a child.
For sure... her long term memories are much clearer than the short term ones.
On Sunday... Chad went to church with the kids.. and I turned on " The Mormon Tabernacle Choir". I do this in our home most Sundays.. to bring the spirit into our home... and then my very young children have always known when the Sabbath day is. -- In fact.. if I turn it on Motab any other day -- my kids have said ... " It isn't Sunday!! " ♥
As I walked in her room that Sabbath morning and fed her breakfast... I was waiting for Aunt Taffy to come and help me get her changed for the morning -- ( since there is no aid on Sundays ) and Grandma asked me why I wasn't at church with the rest of my family.
I explained to her that I was there to help her.. and that we would be able to have the sacrament after church. Some Elders would bring us the sacrament. She seemed very happy about that.
As I sat with her... her room felt as holy and sacred as the Temple does. It felt as though the entire room was filled with Angelic Spirits.
It felt like Heaven was in her room.
I said a prayer in my heart... thanking the Lord for this opportunity to serve her -- and the Spirit Grandma brings into our home.
Aunt Taffy and Aunt Carolyn both helped me a great deal on Sunday morning.. and Night.. and everything is finally falling into a routine.. and on a good schedule.
On the nights that I don't have help.. I try my best to do it alone.. and if I can just get a brief on her so she is modest ( because she is so modest -- she prefers to not even have male nurses ) -- then I have Chad come in and help me roll her and move her as needed.
Each night as I tuck her in bed.. we have family prayer.. and there is the sweetest spirit there.
I have learned so much.. and I am being schooled by my Beautiful Grandmother.
As I laid in bed the other night.. I told Chad how much I truly believe that she is Serving
me.
I wonder who needed this experience more?
She... or Me?
Today I am Grateful for:
House lights.. so I could plant my flowers in the dark -- until 11 pm.
Many annuals and Perennials to be planted
Daily experiences with Grandma
Multi-tasking
Chad's help. He is amazing. Have I said that?
Prayers from Family and Friends
Help from Angels
